You may not have questioned that, or wondered, but it is a question that has come up a lot lately, mostly by myself in my internal dialogue with myself, but also I have been asked by others. I have thought about it and that's my answer. I am happy. I am happy.
So as not to make this the shortest blog post ever (short posts aren't exactly my style), let me explain.
It has been a while since I've blogged, despite vowing to do so more regularly. In the time since my last post a lot, and very little has happened. I've travelled (standard), worked hard (standard) and yet in the triviality of it all a lot has happened over the last few months.
Last week I returned from 2.5 weeks back in Australia, visiting. It had only been 5 months since I left when I arrived, not that long really. But it was always going to be a strange visit, the first time being back after leaving indefinitely. Still, 5 months is not long and returning was bound to bring with it a lot of comfort and familiarity, which it did. So amid that familiarity, I was asked, more than once, "How is Ireland?", and "Are you happy?"
My response was usually something along the lines of an elongated, semi-hesitant, semi-questioning "yeaaaaahhhhh?", followed by the required justification for a less than convincing answer.
So here's the deal. I've been back in Dublin a week now. I've thought about it, processed and now I'm saying decisively: I am happy.
Yes, I know I left AUSTRALIA for IRELAND. If you are reading this and thinking of pointing out that generally the Irish are flocking to Australia, not the other way around: yes, thank you, I noticed. Had I not noticed it would be hard not to know given every new friend, chance encounter and Dublin taxi driver has pointed out this fact to me. Still, in case I had not realised this when I left Australia for Ireland first time around, when I left second time around, last week, the border security official at Sydney's Kingsford Smith Airport made sure to point it out again (perhaps he thought I'd change my mind?) So yes, thank you, I realise. The weather is 'slightly' cooler here, the economy a tad less prosperous, the country a little bit smaller.....you get the drift.
Sometimes, you never know how you truly feel about a decision you've made until after the fact. I generally don't believe in regret, feel no shame in changing my mind when it's warranted and always take the 'glass is half full' approach to find the positive spin in the circumstances I find myself in. So yes, Dublin is not Sydney, and it's not Tel Aviv either. It's unfamiliar, it's cold and occasionally lonely. However, going back to Sydney briefly has helped me put things into perspective.
So here I am saying it again: I am happy. You are probably at a stage where if anyone is actually reading this you don't believe me because I've said it so many times now. So here's my perspective.
I moved to Dublin for a career opportunity. I work for one of the best companies in the world, one of the most desired to work for companies in the world. When I graduated University two and a half years ago, I had a solid degree (Commerce) from a fairly prestigious university (Sydney University) and no idea what I was going to do. It has been an interesting journey from that day to the present, and never would I have guessed I would land a job two years down the line that I currently hold today. When I graduated, many of my peers seemed to have some sort of a plan. The really organised ones had done several summer internships, volunteered in the right places and had the right things on their CV by the time graduation came around. I worked full time while juggling full time study, in a job which I did not see myself carrying into the future or contributing to my future career, whatever that was going to be. It took me a year after graduation to get a clue about what I actually wanted to do professionally, and still then no plan how to get there. Today, I am further along that career path than I ever even conceived was possible a year and a half down the line from when I started to "get a clue". So, to pursue my professional aspirations, I had to move to Dublin as fate would have it, so I moved to Dublin.
Five years ago, I always said I would move to London one day, for a year or two, for the adventure. Somewhere along the track, I gave up on that dream. Not because it was impossible, it was always possible, technically still is, but somewhere along the way, I didn't want it anymore. I liked my life in Sydney. Actually, I loved it. The area I lived in, the people in my life, the lifestyle, the culture, I loved it. I had no immediate plan to leave. To the uninitiated, my eventual move to Dublin could seem like a compromise on an old dream - not quite London, but, close enough.
That wasn't it at all though. As I said, I had no plan to move. Life surprises you that way. So, I moved, but I kind of felt like I was dragging my feet a little. Going through the motions but not with excitement, more with sadness and trepidation, into an unknown, unfamiliar environment, and a cold one, God dammit, I hate the cold! So being back in Sydney, after not such a long absence, back in familiar comforts, the thought of my life which was not there but somewhere else, still unfamiliar and still with the cold (sigh), the question "are you happy" was a tough one to answer.
But now I'm back in Dublin. Back at work and working hard as always. Sleeping with 3 blankets at night and forgetting what my toes look like, again, because I'd be mad not to always have socks on.
So sure, often I may not sound overly enthusiastic right now, but here's the deal. Pre-planned or not, I live in Europe. I never thought I could say that. But I love that. I live in Europe. When I feel like a sea change on the weekend I can hop over to Barcelona, London or Paris and come back at the end of the weekend. In Israel, it was always Eilat, or the Galilee. In Australia, it was a weekend in Melbourne. I love Eilat, I love Melbourne, and I especially love the Galilee, but really, it's like breaking your routine in a routine way. But now, I live in Europe!
I do things that challenge me professionally. That may not last forever, but right now it's true. I still whinge and complain from time to time and by God I reserve the right to do so. At the end of the day though, I enjoy what I do, the industry I work in and the company I am employed by.
Moving away is a chance for new beginnings. I learnt a lot in the 6 years I lived in Australia. I may or may not move back there one day. I learnt about the world and I learnt about myself, as wanky as that may sound. Self discovery means trying out a lot of different things and seeing what fits. I did that. I dipped my toes in a lot of pools and started swimming in a lot of different directions. Bad metaphors aside, I enjoyed what I was doing - organisations, movements and causes I got involved in along the way, but there is such a thing as overdoing it, a saturation point. That was probably one of the last lessons I learned about my life in Australia. Simplifying a complex existence which you no longer wish to maintain so complicated while staying put is doable. But simplifying by starting over elsewhere and re-prioritising, with all its other challenges is in some ways easier. Especially if you're me and constantly trying (and occasionally succeeding) to please others while staying true to yourself.
So Dublin is a change of pace, but it's a change I'm happy with at the moment. I am not yet at a point where things are comfortable here. I haven't quite "found my place" yet. Nevertheless, I love it. When I landed back here after being back in my former home and I didn't feel dread, I realised that. I missed the silliness and stupid jokes we get up to in the office. The rituals I have set up for myself, like eating exactly the same thing, 5 days a week, for breakfast in order to start the day right (baked beans, scrambled eggs when they are offered, a slice of bread with butter and Old English Cheese, cucumber, pineapple slices a glass of water and a glass of pineapple juice, if you were wondering. Mornings without pineapple juice, particularly, are days which just do not start right). I missed the house I live in here, where every day I think all over again, "wow, how cool and cosy is my house!" It really was a lucky find.
I walked through the streets and thought to myself "wow....I live here." 3.5 years ago as a tourist here I thought, "wow, this place is cool." The streets are so quaint and unique. They are not classically beautiful like many other cities I have visited in Europe. The houses here are just special....special in a charmingly Irish way. When I moved here, I didn't think that. It's nice to be reminded of my first thoughts.
Walking down Grafton street, in the centre of town (Dublin is a town , let's face it), always brings a smile to my face. Day or night, it is always filled with some of the best street buskers you will ever hear, anywhere. They so perfectly represent the cheer and the musicality this city has to offer.
Dublin is the UNESCO city of literature. It was home to some of the greats. I never fully appreciated that until I moved here. I'd never read anything by Oscar Wilde, Samuel Beckett, Bernard Shaw or James Joyce. Truthfully, that is still the case presently. But I have seen their plays on stage, quite frequently actually. At the risk of sounding like a wanker, again, I've always enjoyed the theatre, and there is a lot of it to enjoy here. The best thing is that it's frequent, accessible and affordable. It's fantastic.
The live music, as I mentioned, is also fantastic. Whether local or international there is so much to choose from; we are spoilt here for choices, and again, the prices are unbelievable. Since I've been here I've seen some of the best contemporary artists on stage for 40€ a pop, un-freaking-believable: Scissor Sisters, Rufus Wainwright, Florence and The Machine, top level performers. Local Imelda May, which set me back a mere 20€ for a new years eve concert was fantastic. Blondie, who I will see live in June is said to be quite the show, at only 50€ a ticket. Ask any Israeli or Australian resident about concert ticket prices and they will tell you what a steal it is here.
The drinking culture here kinda scares me. I can't keep up with it and I don't know what to expect. Truthfully, I find it a bit off-putting But one thing I can say is it is true what "they" say about the Irish. They really are among the friendliest in the world. That includes the random drunks and the beggars who unfortunately are living on the streets, there is just something about the Irish.
The cold....even the cold you can get used to. Layer up and indoors you can still wear your summer dresses and singlet tops. Sure, it's different with fleece lined stockings to replace my bare legs and yes I do miss having browner legs and exposing my tattooed ankle, but when you're in summer gear in the indoor warmth and the sun is shining deceptively while it's 4 degrees outside, it's really not as bad as I thought. And when you tire of it? Did I mention Europe is at my fingertips? Warmer weather is 120€ and a 2 hour flight away, no problems at all.
So socially, I don't yet have the kind of networks I have built elsewhere. And the coffee shop culture here, REALLY leaves something to be desired. But life is good, and the world is my oyster.
With my cliché quota all but exhausted for one post, there is only one thing left to say, I saved the most clichéd and mushiest of all to last: Lastly, I am happy because, no matter what adjustments I'm still acclimatising to here, there is one constant that I can confidently rely on. I know that no matter what is going on with me in my day to day life, there are always people around the world whose regard and love for me crosses physical and mental barriers across timezones, climates and momentary feelings of aloneness. And for all those reasons, I am happy.
* Consider this a highly mushy update on my new life and let's all just agree I will try once again to be a bit more constant from here on with my updates. Much love.
So as not to make this the shortest blog post ever (short posts aren't exactly my style), let me explain.
It has been a while since I've blogged, despite vowing to do so more regularly. In the time since my last post a lot, and very little has happened. I've travelled (standard), worked hard (standard) and yet in the triviality of it all a lot has happened over the last few months.
Last week I returned from 2.5 weeks back in Australia, visiting. It had only been 5 months since I left when I arrived, not that long really. But it was always going to be a strange visit, the first time being back after leaving indefinitely. Still, 5 months is not long and returning was bound to bring with it a lot of comfort and familiarity, which it did. So amid that familiarity, I was asked, more than once, "How is Ireland?", and "Are you happy?"
My response was usually something along the lines of an elongated, semi-hesitant, semi-questioning "yeaaaaahhhhh?", followed by the required justification for a less than convincing answer.
So here's the deal. I've been back in Dublin a week now. I've thought about it, processed and now I'm saying decisively: I am happy.
Yes, I know I left AUSTRALIA for IRELAND. If you are reading this and thinking of pointing out that generally the Irish are flocking to Australia, not the other way around: yes, thank you, I noticed. Had I not noticed it would be hard not to know given every new friend, chance encounter and Dublin taxi driver has pointed out this fact to me. Still, in case I had not realised this when I left Australia for Ireland first time around, when I left second time around, last week, the border security official at Sydney's Kingsford Smith Airport made sure to point it out again (perhaps he thought I'd change my mind?) So yes, thank you, I realise. The weather is 'slightly' cooler here, the economy a tad less prosperous, the country a little bit smaller.....you get the drift.
Sometimes, you never know how you truly feel about a decision you've made until after the fact. I generally don't believe in regret, feel no shame in changing my mind when it's warranted and always take the 'glass is half full' approach to find the positive spin in the circumstances I find myself in. So yes, Dublin is not Sydney, and it's not Tel Aviv either. It's unfamiliar, it's cold and occasionally lonely. However, going back to Sydney briefly has helped me put things into perspective.
So here I am saying it again: I am happy. You are probably at a stage where if anyone is actually reading this you don't believe me because I've said it so many times now. So here's my perspective.
I moved to Dublin for a career opportunity. I work for one of the best companies in the world, one of the most desired to work for companies in the world. When I graduated University two and a half years ago, I had a solid degree (Commerce) from a fairly prestigious university (Sydney University) and no idea what I was going to do. It has been an interesting journey from that day to the present, and never would I have guessed I would land a job two years down the line that I currently hold today. When I graduated, many of my peers seemed to have some sort of a plan. The really organised ones had done several summer internships, volunteered in the right places and had the right things on their CV by the time graduation came around. I worked full time while juggling full time study, in a job which I did not see myself carrying into the future or contributing to my future career, whatever that was going to be. It took me a year after graduation to get a clue about what I actually wanted to do professionally, and still then no plan how to get there. Today, I am further along that career path than I ever even conceived was possible a year and a half down the line from when I started to "get a clue". So, to pursue my professional aspirations, I had to move to Dublin as fate would have it, so I moved to Dublin.
Five years ago, I always said I would move to London one day, for a year or two, for the adventure. Somewhere along the track, I gave up on that dream. Not because it was impossible, it was always possible, technically still is, but somewhere along the way, I didn't want it anymore. I liked my life in Sydney. Actually, I loved it. The area I lived in, the people in my life, the lifestyle, the culture, I loved it. I had no immediate plan to leave. To the uninitiated, my eventual move to Dublin could seem like a compromise on an old dream - not quite London, but, close enough.
That wasn't it at all though. As I said, I had no plan to move. Life surprises you that way. So, I moved, but I kind of felt like I was dragging my feet a little. Going through the motions but not with excitement, more with sadness and trepidation, into an unknown, unfamiliar environment, and a cold one, God dammit, I hate the cold! So being back in Sydney, after not such a long absence, back in familiar comforts, the thought of my life which was not there but somewhere else, still unfamiliar and still with the cold (sigh), the question "are you happy" was a tough one to answer.
But now I'm back in Dublin. Back at work and working hard as always. Sleeping with 3 blankets at night and forgetting what my toes look like, again, because I'd be mad not to always have socks on.
So sure, often I may not sound overly enthusiastic right now, but here's the deal. Pre-planned or not, I live in Europe. I never thought I could say that. But I love that. I live in Europe. When I feel like a sea change on the weekend I can hop over to Barcelona, London or Paris and come back at the end of the weekend. In Israel, it was always Eilat, or the Galilee. In Australia, it was a weekend in Melbourne. I love Eilat, I love Melbourne, and I especially love the Galilee, but really, it's like breaking your routine in a routine way. But now, I live in Europe!
I do things that challenge me professionally. That may not last forever, but right now it's true. I still whinge and complain from time to time and by God I reserve the right to do so. At the end of the day though, I enjoy what I do, the industry I work in and the company I am employed by.
Moving away is a chance for new beginnings. I learnt a lot in the 6 years I lived in Australia. I may or may not move back there one day. I learnt about the world and I learnt about myself, as wanky as that may sound. Self discovery means trying out a lot of different things and seeing what fits. I did that. I dipped my toes in a lot of pools and started swimming in a lot of different directions. Bad metaphors aside, I enjoyed what I was doing - organisations, movements and causes I got involved in along the way, but there is such a thing as overdoing it, a saturation point. That was probably one of the last lessons I learned about my life in Australia. Simplifying a complex existence which you no longer wish to maintain so complicated while staying put is doable. But simplifying by starting over elsewhere and re-prioritising, with all its other challenges is in some ways easier. Especially if you're me and constantly trying (and occasionally succeeding) to please others while staying true to yourself.
So Dublin is a change of pace, but it's a change I'm happy with at the moment. I am not yet at a point where things are comfortable here. I haven't quite "found my place" yet. Nevertheless, I love it. When I landed back here after being back in my former home and I didn't feel dread, I realised that. I missed the silliness and stupid jokes we get up to in the office. The rituals I have set up for myself, like eating exactly the same thing, 5 days a week, for breakfast in order to start the day right (baked beans, scrambled eggs when they are offered, a slice of bread with butter and Old English Cheese, cucumber, pineapple slices a glass of water and a glass of pineapple juice, if you were wondering. Mornings without pineapple juice, particularly, are days which just do not start right). I missed the house I live in here, where every day I think all over again, "wow, how cool and cosy is my house!" It really was a lucky find.
I walked through the streets and thought to myself "wow....I live here." 3.5 years ago as a tourist here I thought, "wow, this place is cool." The streets are so quaint and unique. They are not classically beautiful like many other cities I have visited in Europe. The houses here are just special....special in a charmingly Irish way. When I moved here, I didn't think that. It's nice to be reminded of my first thoughts.
Walking down Grafton street, in the centre of town (Dublin is a town , let's face it), always brings a smile to my face. Day or night, it is always filled with some of the best street buskers you will ever hear, anywhere. They so perfectly represent the cheer and the musicality this city has to offer.
Dublin is the UNESCO city of literature. It was home to some of the greats. I never fully appreciated that until I moved here. I'd never read anything by Oscar Wilde, Samuel Beckett, Bernard Shaw or James Joyce. Truthfully, that is still the case presently. But I have seen their plays on stage, quite frequently actually. At the risk of sounding like a wanker, again, I've always enjoyed the theatre, and there is a lot of it to enjoy here. The best thing is that it's frequent, accessible and affordable. It's fantastic.
The live music, as I mentioned, is also fantastic. Whether local or international there is so much to choose from; we are spoilt here for choices, and again, the prices are unbelievable. Since I've been here I've seen some of the best contemporary artists on stage for 40€ a pop, un-freaking-believable: Scissor Sisters, Rufus Wainwright, Florence and The Machine, top level performers. Local Imelda May, which set me back a mere 20€ for a new years eve concert was fantastic. Blondie, who I will see live in June is said to be quite the show, at only 50€ a ticket. Ask any Israeli or Australian resident about concert ticket prices and they will tell you what a steal it is here.
The drinking culture here kinda scares me. I can't keep up with it and I don't know what to expect. Truthfully, I find it a bit off-putting But one thing I can say is it is true what "they" say about the Irish. They really are among the friendliest in the world. That includes the random drunks and the beggars who unfortunately are living on the streets, there is just something about the Irish.
The cold....even the cold you can get used to. Layer up and indoors you can still wear your summer dresses and singlet tops. Sure, it's different with fleece lined stockings to replace my bare legs and yes I do miss having browner legs and exposing my tattooed ankle, but when you're in summer gear in the indoor warmth and the sun is shining deceptively while it's 4 degrees outside, it's really not as bad as I thought. And when you tire of it? Did I mention Europe is at my fingertips? Warmer weather is 120€ and a 2 hour flight away, no problems at all.
So socially, I don't yet have the kind of networks I have built elsewhere. And the coffee shop culture here, REALLY leaves something to be desired. But life is good, and the world is my oyster.
With my cliché quota all but exhausted for one post, there is only one thing left to say, I saved the most clichéd and mushiest of all to last: Lastly, I am happy because, no matter what adjustments I'm still acclimatising to here, there is one constant that I can confidently rely on. I know that no matter what is going on with me in my day to day life, there are always people around the world whose regard and love for me crosses physical and mental barriers across timezones, climates and momentary feelings of aloneness. And for all those reasons, I am happy.
* Consider this a highly mushy update on my new life and let's all just agree I will try once again to be a bit more constant from here on with my updates. Much love.
It's been a while since your last post and since we actually had a written/oral conversation, so I'll take that last phrase just as you asked for it to be taken - an extensive update.
ReplyDeleteThe thing that was most interesting for me, is the way you got to the conclusion that you are happy. The daily events are also fascinating for a foreigner that has no idea as to what's going on in a different place in the world, so great job there.
Excellent post and can't wait for the next one.
That guy from Israel, with the cat at the gate :)